My Greatest Blessings

My life has not been an easy one. I spent a  lot of time thinking on this fact and lost out on a lot of good. Now however I live to embrace every moment and aim to make the most of the time that has been given to me.

No matter what life has been like, no matter the struggles, or the joys of it, I have always had one sure foundation to rest on, and that is ‘I am not alone’! I have been blessed with three younger sisters. With an age gap of one and half to two years between each of us there were times when we have tried to kill each other. We have annoyed each other to tears, blackmailed each other, fought like cats and dogs, even hated each other at stages! Thanks however to my mum’s wisdom and raising we have always stuck with each other, even when we were mad with each other.

There is a lot to be said about having three younger sisters that are completely different from me and each other. The clashes are plentiful. There is always disagreements and arguments. Very rare are the instances all four of us agree. Usual scenario is some agree and the others adjust. It teaches a valuable lesson of compromise having siblings. Also teaches sharing, putting someone else’s needs over yours and co-existing.

There is of course those rare occasions we are one unit, we agree, we sync, we almost seem one being with different parts. We compliment each other’s short-comings and differences and we stand together to face the things life throws at us. Those are beautiful moments for their rarity but also for the sense of solidarity one gets when they happen.

They are my greatest blessing cause at the end of the day no matter what happens I know they will always be there. That even if life takes us to four difference corners of the world, we would still be connected. Not through mail, facebook, insta, skype etc, no, these are just a means to an end; but through love, shared experiences of suffering, joys, highs and lows! These things no one can erase or take away and therefore are the strongest things binding us together!

Wishing you all the same blessings on the third day of the new year!


Trapped Within Yourself

Life is a journey that each of us have to make. There is no sitting this one out. There is no saying, I am too busy or too tired. Even if we don’t actively participate, we’ll still get carried along. No escape no matter how hard we all try, and we all try to some degree.

The journey like any other leaves us with experiences. What do we do though, when those experiences trap us and hinder us from continuing on; when the experiences leave you scarred and broken and feeling trapped within yourself? When the person you know you are finds themselves trapped within experiences that seem to have robbed them of their freedom?

The frustration that builds up in not being able to handle the dark clouds that seem to blow over from nowhere and the helplessness you feel when you just can’t seem to find a shred of hope on a perfectly salvageable situation. The worries you have for the future when you can’t seem to be able to handle the present. All of these just make the dark thunder clouds grow.

Feeling trapped within yourself is scary. How do you escape yourself? Where do you run? How to drown out yourself? Knowing there is no else to help you and yet hoping someone will and not wanting to be the darkness in other people’s lives all make things even more complicated. What you really want is to disappear but how does one achieve that miracle?

I don’t have answers to any of the questions, just the questions…Is there any hope?

Good Advice…Where Does It All Go?


So how many of us out there have been in some situation, with one foot poised over a sheer drop to stupidity, or in some situation, serious sort, with no idea what to do? How many of us in that instant, or what seems to be a lifetime, have gotten advice from those close to us, and sometimes from total strangers due to a certain tendency to talk to oneself.

Let’s be honest, we get bucket loads of advice! Human beings love dishing out advice and we ourselves have most probably done the same in the past, are doing it in the present and will be doing it in the near future!  If we apply the principle of karma we are really just getting what we deserve!

In the midst of all this advice, which happens to be a lot, there are some gems of ‘good advice’. We’ll listen to said, ‘good advice’ and we’ll nod our heads; we’ll know in our heads and hearts that the person is right; that the advice been given is what should be adhered to and we’ll nod our heads, with serious faces and say, “you’re right”. Then we’ll thank the person, get up, leave and then comes the pivotal point – we forget the advice! It just vanishes from our minds and we fall into stupidity (my case now). The annoying part of this is that after the fall, when you’ve crashed and burned, you remember the good advice!

So where does the ‘good advice’ go between the time you hear it to the time you’ve crashed and burnt? Vacation? Does it get transferred to another dimension via a mental link that exists between us and the other side? Or do we have aliens programming our memory to only remember the ‘good advice’ after we have fallen? (Sorry for all the sci-fi references, am been influenced by a forum I’m reading)

The truth is, I have had a lot of brilliant advice in my life, most of which I have failed to follow and I have ended up in hot water due to that shortcoming! Having said that, I am a great believer in the saying, ‘experience is the best teacher’. I have learnt some invaluable lessons through my experiences. When it really comes down to it, you cannot live life through someone else’s experiences. It’s your life and you need to find your own way and that means making some mistakes, it means falling off the cliff; it means finding out for yourself how to navigate this complex thing called life. It also means knowing when to listen! Sometimes as much as experience may have taught you an invaluable lesson, listening to the advice offered may have saved you a whole lot of heartache and pain. Cost-benefit analysis (accountant in me poking her head out), was the heartache and pain, which may touch others, worth the lesson, the experience gained?

The choice at the end of the day is in your hands! You have to decide to either learn the hard way or take the advice and learn the easy way. I, for one, am a curious person and want to know the outcomes for myself, rather than take it from someone else. So I choose the hard way. What do you choose??