What are perfect moments?
They are described in books, captured in photographs, acted out in movies, but what are they in reality? In the real world – the ‘non-magical’ place where life isn’t perfect – where are the perfect moments, the ones we’ll cherish and look back on one day?
You see, I realised there are no perfect moments; no “Oh this is going to be a perfect memory” will run through our heads. The moments we cherish, the ones we will look back on with a smile are not ones we’ll realise we are making, nothing that we planned will ever create that! No! Perfect memories are created not in our heads and then acted out on; they are created when we live.
When we live…what is that? Most of us (me included) live with our heads buried in our phones, chatting away, taking pictures, liking things, poking people, we don’t live! We have forgotten the meaning! We are a generation of capturing moments, very rarely making any meaningful ones.
I grew up in Africa, I am a 90s kid. Me and my sisters, we have perfect moments, we don’t have pictures of them, we don’t have videos, we don’t have evidence to show the world where we were or what we were doing, but we have the memories and every once in a while we look back and laugh at our childhood escapades and adventures. The fun, crazy, loud moments screaming and chasing each other to the quieter more relaxed moments of lying in bed and just talking while waiting to sleep. Those are the memories I will cherish!
What I now know is that, perfect moments are the ones that just happened, the ones we didn’t think twice about when they were happening. They were the “let’s have a picnic” and taking what we find in the kitchen and lying on a sheet under a Mullberry bush, staring at the sky and laughing out loud. They were the after fight moments when we apologise and in no time are talking as though nothing happened, never thinking “Oh isn’t this perfect?”. They were the arguing with the parrot who wouldn’t shut up, or chasing the cat who had the entire chicken in it’s mouth or just feeling all warm inside on a cold day after reading a good book.
The sad thing is, I don’t have a lot of perfect moments anymore. Nothing I can look back on and smile and say “Wasn’t that fun?”. Cause I honestly cannot remember. I was too busy looking through a lens or sharing the moments. My life has become one that is unfulfilled, one that is happy, but I had joy in the past. Happy is second best and no one wants to settle for second best. I have to make some major changes and it’s going to be difficult, but I am not a second best kinda girl, I will never be happy with half a life. I (we) only have one. I think I am doing myself a great dis-service if I don’t live it to the best…as are you, if you don’t live your life to the best.