Discipline

This is an extremely foreign concept to me. My Chinese ancestors must be shaking their wise old heads where ever they may be. I always imagine my Chinese ancestors as though they are from the Qing Dynasty. Why Qing? No real reason than maybe it’s the one I’ve heard mentioned most.

Honestly speaking, even though I do have Chinese ancestry and on some occasions manage to look it, I know very little about that part of my history. I know it is part of who I am, just like Sri Lanka and Malawi, but it’s the part I know least about. I think if you know nothing about something you cannot really discover it within yourself.

My grandpa passed away when I was abroad and I was really too little to be interested in my ancestry when he was alive. All I remember about him was that he loved buying us ice-cream, made really good wontons, loved to bring us litchis and he never raised his voice, which in my family of loud-mouths was a rarity. My youngest sister has inherited that trait, along with the discipline which I consider genetic in Chinese.

I do not have any discipline! I am undisciplined in all areas of life! Behaviour, mind, speech…You can ask my mum she’ll be happy to tell you all about it. Where my sister lives with discipline and order, I tend to live with abandon and chaos (not good in this instance). No wonder people that know me well are always wearing worried expressions around me. Having said that I am starting to realize you need discipline in life. It’s important! If you do not have it, like me, you really need to learn it.

My sister is always preaching meditation to me. Focusing on one thing is murder to me. My head actually feels like it’ll explode. I have always had a series of thought paths running at one time in my head. The idea that I have to focus on just one thing makes me wince. My sister has mastered it to such an extent that she can slow her heart beat after a jog in 2mins or so by meditating. I, personally find that unbelievable and feel it’s unachievable! Wrong thinking.

There is a quote I really like, ironically; it goes:

“Through discipline comes freedom.” – Aristotle.

I guess it’s about time I got disciplined. It won’t be easy. I am pretty set in my ways, my ways have deep, thick roots which are going to take a lot of effort to uproot, but I also know if I do not achieve some level of discipline, I will never achieve my best, I’ll never tap into all my potential! Life really is too short to be half the person you were meant to be. That would be a wasted life.

So, discipline and I are about to become friends. After being enemies for a very long time. Wish me luck!

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