Just a Random Post…

Today I am feeling melancholy. 

I have these images of my life in my head that are like little stories or rather illustrations. Right now I have two. They are both talking about the same thing but two different illustrations.

In the first one, I’m pictured as a bird in a cage. My lifelong wish has been to be free and fly but I can’t. I am stuck in that cage with no where to go and I am frustrated and confused! Sometimes I get really close to escaping it seems, of moving out of the life I have, to something more – I am not sure what more is – the cage door is open slightly and I make my way slowly, with anticipation and fear, to squeeze through that opening, but, just as I near it and start to hope, the door is suddenly slammed in my face and I am once again locked in. 

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The second illustration I am trying to reach something on a precipice, it’s precariously balanced and I’m being held back, but I need to, have to reach it! My fingers almost brush it, but I can never really get a hold of ‘it’! What the ‘it’ is I do not know! All I know is that it’s important! Again, I think it has something to do with freedom! 

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That begs the question, ‘What is freedom?’. For me it is a deeper meaning to life, a truth, a truth that my mind seems so close to grasp but somehow other things cloud it and I lose sight. My melancholy days are the ones I get really close to this truth but I can’t quite reach it! 

I must sound like a mad person. If I tried to explain this to a person by speaking, I’d either get called crazy or they’d interpret it in their own way and try to explain it away. I don’t like it when people try to explain my ‘weird’ thoughts and ideas away. I feel as though they are trying to explain me away. That’s not fair.  

I am an odd person living what seems to be a normal life and I don’t know which is the real me, the odd one or the presumably normal one? 

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3 Comments

  1. “Seek and ye shall find.”

    “The Truth shall set you free.”

    Obviously you are seeking Truth. You may not find it on this “melancholy day,” but you WILL find it and not only will it set you free, but you’ll be an example to other seekers. 🙂

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