When I left Malawi, it was kind of in a rush. Everything was happening so fast I could only process one thing at a time. It didn’t sink in that I had left my home of 15 years till the plane was landing in Sri Lanka and even then I was tired and numb after flying and it didn’t properly sink in.
I am a strong believer in dealing with things as they come. Putting it off till later will have serious repercussions that will sometimes cripple you. I try to deal with everything that life throws at me when they are thrown at me, sometimes the day after. Hey a girl needs time to plan out her defense or attack! There is one thing though that I avoid very much. I literally become blind, deaf and senseless when it comes to this and that is the action ‘goodbye’.
Goodbye…a seven letter word. Now, that in itself is a bad sign, an odd numbered word. I dislike odd numbers. Saying goodbye is something I have struggled with my whole life. From since I can remember I have always hated goodbyes. Honestly speaking, I am afraid of them. In my mind, a goodbye is kind of like a death. It’s an end, and I hate endings. I have refused to say goodbye so many times, it has now piled up to a whole lot of unfinished business. I think I have a separate room in the house that is my life, with ‘pending goodbyes’ on the door.
What I am realizing is that goodbyes are inevitable. They are like an uninvited guest that decides to crash every party and doesn’t take a hint that they are not welcome. I am also realizing that goodbyes are not always bad. Yes, they are sad, yes they herald an end to what was a really good time in life, yes they can make you feel like your life is over but a goodbye, a proper goodbye is also a heartfelt moment that could define the lives of those involved.
At the end of the day, saying goodbye is a chance to show the person that they meant the world to you, that they always will; and that though you are saying goodbye, they will remain in your heart and memory. It’s a chance to let them go with the knowledge that they had impacted your life in a way that has forever changed you and made you a better person, cause let’s be honest, no matter how a goodbye comes around, the time before the goodbye would have taught you something in life. It’s a moment of release for you as well as the other person involved. It is better, I think, to say goodbye and let things end than not say it and have unfinished business that you will regret later in life. It’s better to show the person that they meant something to you than let them wonder forever. Better to lay to rest what was and with a slow smile move on.
All these things still do not make a goodbye any easier but I hope it’ll help anyone who hates goodbyes as much as me to atleast try and say it.
I will definitely work at saying goodbye though it’s hard.