Doors and Gardens

The end of something is always the beginning of something else. Sometimes though letting go of the something you’ve known and hoped on for so long is not easy. That causes you to miss out on the new beginning. It’s like a garden full of sunshine behind you and you’re busy standing on a closed porch, staring at a dark and gloomy door wanting to open it again but hoping it will open by itself and at the same time dreading that it might.

But how long can you stare at that door? How long can you hope and dread? How long can you ignore the sunshine? How long can you wonder? How long can you ask yourself ‘what if’? Time heals everything, that is true, but you have to let go and move on for time to do that. If you keep staring at that door, you’ll be so focused on that, you won’t even notice time pass by. The garden behind you will go through the seasons and you’ll just grow cold on a porch. You can miss out on so much by just staring at the past.

You have to turn your back on the door, take that step into the garden, take a deep breath and start to let go. Sure, you’ll look back once in a while and find yourself staring at that door. But as time moves on, and you move forward that door will get further and further away and it will start to fade. Some bright day it’ll be just a memory.

That’s life, isn’t it: change and growth; joy, pain and healing. We all go through it and we all come out of it but not completely the same as we were. Some of us carry raw scars; others are much better at healing. That also is our choice, it depends on us! The more we hold on to the past and dwell on it the harder it is to heal. It’s like pouring salt on to the wounds. I hold on a lot to the past. I feel as though I have to, that if I let go, I lose a part of me. But that’s not true! What I lose by letting go is the bitterness, anger, hurt, the negative thoughts, and the hopelessness. I can definitely live without those! All those things ever do, is hold me back.

So I’m deciding to turn my back on the door! Step out into the garden and begin again. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s also not an impossible thing! If I keep staring at that door, I’ll never move forward. I’ll just be regretting and wondering and holding myself back! So goodbye porch! Goodbye door! Hello garden! Hello sunshine!

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