She

Her whole world had gotten turned upside down and she had neither wanted it nor could she stop it! In this new place, that was unfamiliar to her, she got thrown one thing after another until her head was spinning and her heart was weary.

She had been barely holding herself together as it was and to have so much pressure and change thrown at her all at once, completely undid her. She got confused, frustrated and angry!

Who she was got lost, what she believed in forgotten and her heart hard again! Her heart is broken but the people around her expect her to be happy and get on with life. How could she, when so much she loved had to be left behind? How is she supposed to act like twelve years never happened? How was she supposed to forget all the memories and people she loved, and be happy when she missed everything and everyone every single day?

She is homesick…but they keep telling her she is home. If this is home, why does she feel like a stranger, an outsider? Why is she unhappy? Why does she feel trapped and claustrophobic? Why does she want to cry but can’t? Why does she feel the urge to run and hide? Why does she want to scream in frustration? Why does she feel so hopeless?

Her misery is making her bitter and that in turn is making it hard for her to be nice to anyone, including her family and closest friends. She needs to find her feet and adjust to all life’s thrown at her but to do that she needs a bit of peace and quiet but that’s lacking at the moment.

She is sorry for all the pain and trouble she’s causing her family and sorry to her friends for not being a very good friend of late. She just needs a bit of space and time…Time to find herself in this place, adjust to all the changes and get herself back on track with where her life is going.

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1 Comment

  1. Your right, this is not home. It never will be. I miss home so much. It was nice there, I could be whoever I wanted and I never felt out of place like I do here. I get what your going through even if you think no one does. But please try harder to make this work. I am quite sure everyone misses home. But your making everyone dislike you a little bit more everyday by behaving the way that you are. We will always be here and we will always Love you. And you can kill me if you want for writing this in your blog, but I just wanted you to know it will always be my home too and I Love you too bits, even if you drive me crazy. 🙂

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